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Sports Uncategorized
Playoffs Are All That Matter
May 20, 2016
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Eric characture cropped colorHockey Player Magazine, May 2016

It’s only an eight game schedule but my body thinks otherwise—the season feels like 80 games.  My legs burn with each stride while my lungs gasp for more air than a carburetor.  But we’re in the playoffs and complaining is for sissies.  Everybody’s whipped, even our rivals, and it’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff.  Lose two games and we’re out until September.  No one wants to hang up their skates in early May.

My Blazers entered the playoffs in the middle of the pack and I’m the middle-aged guy in our pack chasing players ten to thirty years younger.  I’m a forechecker and harass opponents trying to break out of their zone.   I chase, because with higher mileage and less horsepower, I’m easily caught by the younger bucks.

I enjoy my role though I pine for more offensive thrust.  An unspoken scoring tension occurs during my shift similar to sexual tension in a PG movie where no one has sex.  My Blazer buddies resting on the bench have no idea whether I’ll score.  Tension.    (more…)

community
Paradise Chocolate Fest Benefits the Kids
April 27, 2016
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2016 Fest PC 2“All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Charles M. Shulz

“I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.”  John Belushi

It’s time for hype, chocolate hype.  And it’s okay to indulge.

Experience a chocolate paradise on the Paradise/Magalia ridge nestled among tall green pines in the Sierra Nevada Mountain foothills, where we strike the perfect balance between a historical Gold Country past and the comforts of modern living.   Join a community with a big heart and love of chocolate for the 11th annual Paradise Chocolate Fest benefiting non-profit youth organizations on the Paradise Ridge. (more…)

The Humor Project
Baby-Boomer Will Durst is a Comedy Innovator
April 11, 2016
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Etc Guy Durst small

(Note to readers:  Shortly after I interviewed Will Durst my site crashed and remained off-line about six months, an eternity.  The article below appeared on other sites and in magazines.  I completely forgot to post it here.  Duh.  No doubt Trump has given Durst more fuel.)

He’s a superstar comic and satirist with a wit that feasts on political mayhem, firing more misdirections than Chris Christie and John Boehner combined.  But comedian Will Durst was down to earth when we met during a recent visit.  When I learned Durst would speak at a Farm Bureau event I pounced like a lion on beefsteak. (more…)

Parents and Kids
Millennial Daughter to Vote Absentee
March 31, 2016
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election ballot infoLike religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public.  It’s too controversial.”

Erma Bombeck

My oldest daughter, a college freshman, will vote absentee this year–her first election. She leans left of my views where I straddle right on money issues and left of center on social issues. I seldom argue about politics, preferring to discuss cereal selection. For me, incumbents on both sides of the aisle are fair game to vote out (my version of term limits). (more…)

Parents and Kids Sports
Hockey Mom Earns Frequent Flyer Miles
February 24, 2016
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Eric characture cropped colorHockey Player Magazine, Feb 2016

(Note: Names below were changed.)

We boarded the jet two hours late, me and 350 others.  No explanation was given other than lousy weather in Europe.  My original seat selection was along the back row aisle near the lavatory.  I’m one who plans ahead— the ten hour flight from Oakland to Stockholm would test my prostate, larger than a hockey puck, to the max.  Two minutes in the penalty box is rough enough.  No pre-flight drinks for me.

With the flight delay my seat assignment changed—I now had a window seat over the wing.   I nodded to a Swedish couple when I reached my row.  My companions for the next ten hours, Anna and Peter, stashed jackets and bags overhead.  They smiled and stepped aside. (more…)

The Humor Project
Humorist P.J. O’Rourke Pokes at Politicos
February 17, 2016
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etcguy PJ_O'Rourke“The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get chickweed out of your lawn.

Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then get elected and prove it.”

(P.J. O’Rourke, American satirist)

 

I loathe politics but couldn’t ignore that quote from P.J. O’Rourke, especially with the current national election riff-raff.  Good grief.

Patrick Jake “P. J.” O’Rourke (born 1947) is an American political satirist, journalist, and humorist.   A correspondent for The Atlantic MonthlyThe American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard, O’Rourke has also written columns for The Daily Beast and performed on National Public Radio.

Another guy I’d like to meet as part of my ongoing Humor Project…maybe…someday.  What a crack-up.

Until then, see you in print.  Or connect with me via the Etc.Guy Facebook page

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Post-Christmas Do-It-Yourself Project Stymies Consumer Laggard
January 26, 2016
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diffusion curve laggard(Central Valley Business Times, December 2015)

Laggards, in marketing lingo, are consumers that ride the tail end of the Diffusion Curve.  Whether it’s computers, TV sets or toasters, I am not an early adopter.  I lag.  Every Christmas season (which starts after Halloween), I wrestle with more consumer purchase decision making than the rest of the year.  The bustling crowds, blaring holiday music, and banners promoting BOGO’s, only adds to my befuddlement.

In comparison, my wife and daughters shop with the endurance of Olympic athletes.

(more…)

Sports
December is the Season for Puck Drops
December 21, 2015
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(Hockey Player Magazine, December 2015)

Eric characture cropped colorDecember is the season for leaf fall, snow fall, and puck drops.

My hockey buddies grin when frosty windshields mask the morning commute, especially the guys from Minnesota or Canada where vegetables come in casseroles and nuts come from cans. (more…)

Holidays Quotes From Famous People
Time Swooshes into Another Holiday Season
November 28, 2015
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etcguy dr suessHow did it get late so soon?  It’s night before its afternoon.  December is here before its June.  My goodness how the time has flewn.  How did it get late so soon?

Dr. Suess (1904 – 1991)

It seems just a week ago my kids filled plastic pumpkins full of Halloween candy.  And only eight minutes ago we gobbled the last of Thanksgiving turkey.  Now, we’re onto the Christmas holiday home-stretch.

nike swooshTime swooshes by but it’s not because of Nike. Between October 31 and December 25, time either speeds up or gets sucked away. Where it goes, nobody knows.

How did it get late so soon?

PS  For “late” or last minute Christmas shoppers I’m compiling a list of great books to consider.  Coming soon…certainly before June.  Be sure to join the Etc.Guy Facebook page too.

Quotes From Famous People
Upcoming Trivia Bee to be a Jocular Event
October 29, 2015
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MozartTo speak well and eloquently is a great art, but an equally great one is to know the right moment to stop.”

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Ready, fire, aim.

I’m one who, to my wife’s chagrin and mortification, sometimes speaks first then thinks later about what I just said.  The fuse between my mouth and vocal chords burns short and quick, while the fuse between my mouth and brain smolders like wet rope.  I wear a size eight shoe.  But it’s my size 13 mouth that gets me into trouble…like a goofball friend who makes a dare.

Mozart’s quote is prophetic and one I try to be mindful of every day—not to be too much of a wise-guy.  A closed mouth gathers no feet. (more…)