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Politics Quotes From Famous People The Humor Project
Everybody Has Their Guy (or Man)
August 25, 2016
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etc guy Dave-BarryIn the dictionary there are words for everythingDave Barry

Every person has their guy.

The three of us loitered outside the concert hall killing time.  Jane and Peg, music moms, stood with arms crossed and discussed car problems.  Jane gushed about her guy as I walked up.

“He’s the best,” Jane said, her eyes beaming like sun rays.  “My Volvo has 450,000 miles.  My guy fixes brakes, radiators, rebuilds engines…sigh…he even folds shop towels.”  Jane’s eyes glistened and I saw my reflection.   She clasped her hands, “Ooooh, there’s no one like him.” (more…)

Parents and Kids Politics
Voter is Stuck in the Middle With…Who?
July 12, 2016
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Bob HopeI love to go to Washington.  If only to be near my money.

(Bob Hope)

Our family debates are more introspective than lively, more on her end than mine.  Maybe I’m just cynical.  But discussing the upcoming Presidential election with my voting age college daughter isn’t boring.  She leans further left than me, with her youthful, trusting, and idealistic viewpoint, but considering our choices I don’t want to vote for either candidate. The billionaire braggart, born more than halfway between third base and home plate, offends me.   I’m never impressed with people who are impressed with themselves. (more…)

Parents and Kids Travel
Bucket List Trips With Parents Were Worth It
June 27, 2016
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Galapagos Islands tortoises_E MillerNote: This article appeared in various newspapers and magazines.  We’re in the season of Mother’s and Father’s Days and I wanted to share it again.  This story is dedicated to parents.

I don’t remember my parents pursuing fun.  They worked too hard.  Nor did they understand the concept of a bucket list.  The buckets we used carried paint. (more…)

Sports Uncategorized
Playoffs Are All That Matter
May 20, 2016
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Eric characture cropped colorHockey Player Magazine, May 2016

It’s only an eight game schedule but my body thinks otherwise—the season feels like 80 games.  My legs burn with each stride while my lungs gasp for more air than a carburetor.  But we’re in the playoffs and complaining is for sissies.  Everybody’s whipped, even our rivals, and it’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff.  Lose two games and we’re out until September.  No one wants to hang up their skates in early May.

My Blazers entered the playoffs in the middle of the pack and I’m the middle-aged guy in our pack chasing players ten to thirty years younger.  I’m a forechecker and harass opponents trying to break out of their zone.   I chase, because with higher mileage and less horsepower, I’m easily caught by the younger bucks.

I enjoy my role though I pine for more offensive thrust.  An unspoken scoring tension occurs during my shift similar to sexual tension in a PG movie where no one has sex.  My Blazer buddies resting on the bench have no idea whether I’ll score.  Tension.    (more…)

community
Paradise Chocolate Fest Benefits the Kids
April 27, 2016
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2016 Fest PC 2“All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Charles M. Shulz

“I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.”  John Belushi

It’s time for hype, chocolate hype.  And it’s okay to indulge.

Experience a chocolate paradise on the Paradise/Magalia ridge nestled among tall green pines in the Sierra Nevada Mountain foothills, where we strike the perfect balance between a historical Gold Country past and the comforts of modern living.   Join a community with a big heart and love of chocolate for the 11th annual Paradise Chocolate Fest benefiting non-profit youth organizations on the Paradise Ridge. (more…)

The Humor Project
Baby-Boomer Will Durst is a Comedy Innovator
April 11, 2016
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Etc Guy Durst small

(Note to readers:  Shortly after I interviewed Will Durst my site crashed and remained off-line about six months, an eternity.  The article below appeared on other sites and in magazines.  I completely forgot to post it here.  Duh.  No doubt Trump has given Durst more fuel.)

He’s a superstar comic and satirist with a wit that feasts on political mayhem, firing more misdirections than Chris Christie and John Boehner combined.  But comedian Will Durst was down to earth when we met during a recent visit.  When I learned Durst would speak at a Farm Bureau event I pounced like a lion on beefsteak. (more…)

Parents and Kids
Millennial Daughter to Vote Absentee
March 31, 2016
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election ballot infoLike religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public.  It’s too controversial.”

Erma Bombeck

My oldest daughter, a college freshman, will vote absentee this year–her first election. She leans left of my views where I straddle right on money issues and left of center on social issues. I seldom argue about politics, preferring to discuss cereal selection. For me, incumbents on both sides of the aisle are fair game to vote out (my version of term limits). (more…)

Parents and Kids Sports
Hockey Mom Earns Frequent Flyer Miles
February 24, 2016
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Eric characture cropped colorHockey Player Magazine, Feb 2016

(Note: Names below were changed.)

We boarded the jet two hours late, me and 350 others.  No explanation was given other than lousy weather in Europe.  My original seat selection was along the back row aisle near the lavatory.  I’m one who plans ahead— the ten hour flight from Oakland to Stockholm would test my prostate, larger than a hockey puck, to the max.  Two minutes in the penalty box is rough enough.  No pre-flight drinks for me.

With the flight delay my seat assignment changed—I now had a window seat over the wing.   I nodded to a Swedish couple when I reached my row.  My companions for the next ten hours, Anna and Peter, stashed jackets and bags overhead.  They smiled and stepped aside. (more…)

The Humor Project
Humorist P.J. O’Rourke Pokes at Politicos
February 17, 2016
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etcguy PJ_O'Rourke“The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get chickweed out of your lawn.

Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then get elected and prove it.”

(P.J. O’Rourke, American satirist)

 

I loathe politics but couldn’t ignore that quote from P.J. O’Rourke, especially with the current national election riff-raff.  Good grief.

Patrick Jake “P. J.” O’Rourke (born 1947) is an American political satirist, journalist, and humorist.   A correspondent for The Atlantic MonthlyThe American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard, O’Rourke has also written columns for The Daily Beast and performed on National Public Radio.

Another guy I’d like to meet as part of my ongoing Humor Project…maybe…someday.  What a crack-up.

Until then, see you in print.  Or connect with me via the Etc.Guy Facebook page

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Home
Post-Christmas Do-It-Yourself Project Stymies Consumer Laggard
January 26, 2016
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diffusion curve laggard(Central Valley Business Times, December 2015)

Laggards, in marketing lingo, are consumers that ride the tail end of the Diffusion Curve.  Whether it’s computers, TV sets or toasters, I am not an early adopter.  I lag.  Every Christmas season (which starts after Halloween), I wrestle with more consumer purchase decision making than the rest of the year.  The bustling crowds, blaring holiday music, and banners promoting BOGO’s, only adds to my befuddlement.

In comparison, my wife and daughters shop with the endurance of Olympic athletes.

(more…)