Archive for: 2014

Holidays
Christmas Tree Hunt is Annual Tradition
December 23, 2014
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Don’t call the Sierra Club.  The wood we chop isn’t for building or heating.  We are Christmas tree hunters—amateur lumberjacks that thin the forest one tree at a time.  The permit costs $10 but getting lost is free.
The Humor Project
Humor Writers Gift Christmas Smiles
December 18, 2014
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Christmas is a week out and I’m in the same state of mind as I was 365 days ago. Hurried, disheveled and trying to jam fifteen minute errands into eight. We need a mega-blizzard in my fair town to slow things down, or at least slow down everyone else.
Holidays
Phooey, Let’s Gain Weight Over Thanksgiving
November 26, 2014
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“If you think about a Thanksgiving Dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken.” Ina Garten, Host of Barefoot Contessa, Food Network It’s not the minutes that put on weight, it’s the seconds. I’m unsure who said that but whoever said it was right. Hardly three weeks have passed since my final raid on the […]
Sports
Hockey Mom’s Excuse Scores Hat Trick
October 28, 2014
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(Published in Hockey Player Magazine, October 2014) The five of us frowned as we tied our skates. We were down two players and knew the next 45 minutes would test our lungs and legs. “Where’s Blaze?” Swifty asked. “At a Raider game,” I answered. “Good excuse. Better than when Chuck got lost hunting or when […]
Parents and Kids
Maggie’s Run for Office Breaks Drought
October 14, 2014
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(Originally published in the Chico Enterprise-Record, November 2012) “Humility is tricky. Once you think you have it, you’ve lost it.” Etc. Guy aka Eric Miller (confused dad) I’m not politically astute –blinded by irreverence—and have the knack of saying the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time to the right people. I’ll insert my size […]
Parents and Kids
Kid’s Quitting is Okay with Dad
June 24, 2014
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“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  Then quit.  There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”                W. C. Fields (Readers:  I got spammed and lost the original post and comments, re-posting again.  Feel free to comment). She lasted 90 hours over three seasons.  Maggie was not an outlier.  Not in […]
The Humor Project
Hey Folks, It’s a Book Launch Party
May 24, 2014
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Earlier this week I spoke to the Chico Authors & Publishing Society, on how a 51-year-old guy set up the Etc. Guy blog.  After discussing a bunch of technical mumbo-gumbo, we all dove into a group conversation which involved teasing and laughs, at my expense.  I had a blast.  We viewed some Google Analytic map […]
Sports
Hockey Bag Violates Air Space
May 9, 2014
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(Hockey Player Magazine, May 2014) Humans are among the smelliest creatures in the animal kingdom.  We share the “Smelly Top Five” list with the wolverine, Tasmanian devil, polecat, and skunk.  Hockey players are a unique subgroup.  Though we are extremely agile, intelligent and handsome, we suffer a critical flaw.  Like whales and birds, we have […]
Parents and Kids
A Visit to the Hair Salon
April 29, 2014
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Category:                        A visit to the hair stylist Anxiety Level:                  Depends Level of Difficulty:            Also depends Result of Blowing It:        Really depends My daughter, Kate, and I visited the hair stylist.  Guys visits barbers, gals go to “stylists.”  I need hair maintenance every three weeks.  My regular maintenance includes a 5-on-the-side-with-scissors-on-top.  I’m usually […]
Parents and Kids
Dad’s Promise Leads to Butt-Kicking
April 16, 2014
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I haven’t trudged like that since my walk to the principal’s office.  My shoulders sagged and my head drooped.  The parking lot seemed a mile wide.  I called my wife, Hun. “We’re loading up.” “How’d Maggie do?  You sound beat.” “Got my butt kicked, but she nailed it.”