“There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things and peop
le who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.” Mark Twain
Mark Twain lived generations ago but his words and wit live in print. Many take literacy for granted— but unfortunately for some Twain’s genius will never be read. (more…)
I never expected needing to carry a baseball bat for walking my own property. I swing bats to miss pitches. Not fend off intruders.
We own an investment property in town, an old walnut orchard thick on bark, long on limbs and short on shade. The trees are geezers and recent drought years have stressed them beyond good health—a true orchardist would have felled them. But we’ve hung onto the lot, trimming what we can within our gerbil powered real estate budget. Gravity directs dropped branches onto our side of the fence. The lot also has a small house, a rental. It’s temporarily vacant until we complete interior repairs. (more…)
The writer with Patrick McManus
“You’ll never meet him,” a know-it-all consultant told me. “Patrick McManus is big time. He’s hard to reach. He won’t have time for you.”
It pays to ignore naysayers especially when one is young, dumb, ambitious, and on a mission. In this case I was on a mission to interview Patrick McManus, a New York Times best-selling author and humor writer. A long-time columnist for Field and Stream and Outdoor Life Magazines, McManus wrote about guys who got lost in the woods and the trials and travesties of wiring trailer lights. (more…)
I’m a hand-me-down guy with a mindset inherited from my grandparents, Great Depression veterans. Whether it was hockey equipment or clothes the only “new” stuff Mom bought was either underwear or socks. She’d hand down Dad’s shirts telling me I’d grow into them. When it came to sneakers she’d splurge with a trip to Penny’s if we were lucky. But un-luck mostly prevailed and I got blue-light specials. “Your dad’s left foot is size 8 but he wears a size 9 right foot. Here, enjoy your Keds knock-offs.” Good thing my feet were size 8. My brother got my hand-me-downs, unfortunate for him—he’s worn size 7 shoes since kindergarten. (more…)
(Hockey Player Magazine, May 2018)
“It’s improper to criticize someone 30 years later.” Bobby Clarke, Philadelphia Flyers
If I found Darius Fooberman on Facebook I’d hesitate friending him.
A garish bully during my bantam years, Darius stood nearly six feet without skates. With gear bag in tow his knuckles dragged as he walked into the arena. The oaf knocked over chairs and small kids sitting on them. Mrs. Fooberman, a square jawed bow-legged woman was shaped like a bowling pin and sported a bee-hive hairdo. She screeched to her boy, “Darius! You knocked over a kid. Pick up that brat!” (more…)
My wife’s instructions were to review in-boxes, files and folders. Every year I pledge to do a better job sorting paper receipts, e-receipts, updating the check book register and learning Quicken. Still, I’m smothered by bits and bytes and multi-dimensional layers of information. In hoping to save time and a few bucks, I’m twice as disorganized. (more…)
“With word processing, there is no end to the amount of words you can crank out without having to become personally involved with what they say.” Dave Barry in Cyberspace
Like everyone else on the planet I’ve been busy, but I make time to pitch another Dave Barry classic. Barry’s humor fits like a well-worn glove that slides over chapped skin. He’s comfortably funny. From the opening paragraph Dave Barry in Cyberspace is a riot. No need for warm-up exercises; Barry hooks you before reaching the period in the first sentence. (more…)
Published in the Chico Enterprise-Record, Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph & Hockey Player Magazine
Readers, a prologue: This article previously appeared in several newspapers and on my blog. I share it again in memory of Eric Trivedi, a fellow hockey buddy. Originally from Dearborn, Michigan, Eric started playing hockey at age 5 and was a founding member of the California State University-Chico inline hockey team. Eric not only had a rapid shot but also a quick wit. He even gave me one of his old sticks—the one that never scored. Eric passed away unexpectedly two months ago at age 43. Eric, you were too young to say goodbye to.
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“I thought this may interest you,” the email said. In the subject heading was a name, Wayne Marshall, my high school hockey coach. I expected the worst, to see an obituary. (more…)
I’m neither sweet nor perfect that’s certain. At least I admit it.
But it took a stumble upon hidden booty to remember that FEBRUARY 14th soon approaches. (more…)
“Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.” Will Rogers
Will Rogers was an icon. Born in 1879, Rogers was an American stage and motion picture actor, vaudeville performer, American cowboy, humorist, newspaper columnist, and social commentator from Oklahoma. Born in the Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory, Rogers was a Cherokee citizen. (more…)